How sincere is your husband to be? Does he really love you and want to marry you or is he just pretending that he wants you for his bride? The only way everyone will know his if he attempts to fetch the bride.
To fetch the bride means that the groom will be up against some obstacles and he must bring all the right things on his quest. He must bring his troop of brothers and he must also bring certain items to fetch the bride.
There will be bridesmaids and best men that will come so it is important to know how many you will want. Sometimes the bride and groom will match one bridesmaid to one best man but you can have as many as your budget allows.
One thing to know is that every one of the helpers will get a red packet of money to give them good luck. This can get costly if you have a lot of people helping. Once all the people are in place the festivities begin.
The groom must bring the matchmaker. Some people do not have matchmakers so they would bring the best man along instead. This person will carry the tray with goodies on it to be presented to the bride later.
On the tray you must have the following items:
- Raw pork leg — this goes to the mother of the bride because she had such a beautiful daughter that she is now going to get married.
- Tangerines or oranges — this should be an even number of these and they are given to make sure the couple will have good fortune.
- Dried persimmons — again an even number and these are given to insure that the family continues to prosper.
- Dried longan — these are kept in shells and given to the bride to insure that there will always be sweetness in the marriage.
- Dried lotus seeds — these should be given in as many as is good taste because it ensures that the couple will have many children.
- Dried lotus flowers — this is so that the couple will have one hundred years of happiness and closeness in the marriage. You will also hear this referred to as ak hup.
It is important to make sure that your tray looks very nice and enticing for the family. The bride’s family will give the tray back later with an even number of tangerines or oranges on it to show that they have accepted this gift and that the two families will continue to have good fortune.
Once everything is in place the groom proceeds to the bride’s house where his car is greeted by some of the bride’s brothers.
The youngest (no matter how young he is) must open the car door for the groom. The groom must not open the door himself so he must be very patient. Now the groom must face a series of obstacles and get through them in order to fetch the bride.
That is a very interesting tradition to read about. It is a Chinese tradition, correct? Is it something that most modern Chinese couples still do?
Sheila
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Hi Sheila,
It is indeed a uniquely Chinese tradition. However as there are many Chinese in different parts of the world, the traditions gets modified slightly over time.
I would think many other cultures have unique wedding traditions as well. Maybe you would like to share how it is like in a typical wedding for your country or culture?
Henry
interesting site for traditional wedding day. its gives a thumb up on SU!!
Hi Jasen,
thanks for the comment and thumbs up! Glad you like it!
Henry
Wedding traditions are such a happy topic to read about. I also imagine that traditions vary among regions within China, too.
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Hi Rhondal,
Thanks for the comment. Wedding traditions are indeed a happy topic to read about, and it never fails to interest me when i read about the different wedding cultures around the world.
Indeed in China alone, i have heard that the wedding traditions in the rural areas are very much different. I would explore more on that in the future.
Henry
Henry,
I’d be glad to share our wedding traditions but somehow it doesn’t sound as interesting as yours!
I live in the U.S. and had a wedding in a protestant church. While there are a lot of wedding traditions, how much people follow them varies. The bride usually wears white. Usually the groom can’t see the bride’s dress before the wedding or see the bride on the day of the wedding before the actual wedding. The father walks the bride down the aisle and “gives her away” (which ruffles my feminist feathers and if I were doing it all over I would not do that one!). People throw rice at the bride and groom as they leave the wedding. I have no idea why. Good luck?
At the reception, the bride and groom cut the cake and shove it in each other’s mouths. When people clink their silverware on their glasses, the bride and groom kiss. The bride wears a garter on her thigh. The groom takes it off her leg and throws it and the single men try to catch it: the one who catches it will supposedly be the next one to get married. The bride throws her bouquet and the single women try to catch it and as with the men, the woman who catches it will supposedly be the next one to marry.
That’s just about all I can think of at the moment.
Sheila’s last blog post..There’s more than one right way to solve a math problem
Hi Sheila,
Thanks for sharing! It is an eye opener to hear your side of the story. By the way, does anyone know what is a garter and what is the purpose of the groom taking it off bride’s leg and throw it to the single men?
Well i guess thats the fun part of knowing different cultures. Fortunately we are all bonded by a common language and we could share our experiences through the use of words.
Understanding wedding traditions is so much fun!
Henry