Filipino Pre-Wedding Traditions Then and Now
In this archipelago of more than 7,100 islands, wedding traditions vary from island to island, province to province, north to south. The wedding traditions and rituals of today are a fusion of influences from the Spanish, the Americans and the Japanese, all of whom have occupied the country at different times in its colorful history.
Every Filipino wedding starts with a proposal because no Filipina would get married without one, even if it just means a simple “let’s get married” from the groom-to-be. Proposals these days have turned into big events with the groom often enlisting the help of family and friends to create a grand production just to pop the magical question. Of course, no proposal is complete without the ring. While the concept of the engagement ring has Western influences, the practice of the groom offering a dowry to his betrothed is one that goes way, way back in Philippine culture. The bride’s dowry, in the olden times, included offerings of money, clothes and jewelry. So when you think about it, men today have it easy since they only need a ring.
With the proposal done and the ring on the bride-to-be’s finger, the pamamanhikan or the meeting of the two families now takes place. The pamamanhikan is traditionally held at the bride’s home with the groom and his family coming over and bringing with them food and some other gifts. This can get a bit awkward especially if the parties are meeting for the very first time. In early times, the budget is an aspect of the wedding that is often discussed during the pamamanhikan. This was during those days when all wedding expenses were shouldered by the groom’s family. These days, expenses are shared between the two families. It is also not uncommon to find the bride and groom paying for their wedding from their own savings. The guest list is also a huge part of the wedding that takes long discussions. Filipinos are known for close family ties so it’s normal for the bride and groom to consider inviting relatives in the 2nd and 3rd degrees. Of course, close friends from childhood, school (from grade school, high school and college) and work places also have to be included. It is also customary for the bride and groom to consult with their parents for their own additions to the guest list. So you can just imagine how long the list can get.
Now all the details are ironed out, it’s time for the pre-wedding parties. The groom is thrown a stag party by his friends and the bride gets a shower party from hers. The bride, however, gets a special send-off party hosted by her family. This is called the despedida de soltera, which literally means farewell to spinsterhood. This takes place within the last 2 weeks before the wedding day and is usually held at the bride’s home. The groom and his family are invited to this party together with the wedding entourage. The bride’s close friends and relatives are also present during this celebration which signifies the bride’s family giving their blessing to the wedding.
The serenades and the long courtships have been replaced by the more modern dating practice. Shotgun weddings and arranged marriages have long been forgotten. But these pre-wedding rituals have withstood the test of time and, thankfully, are still practiced, save for some tweaking to keep with the modern times.
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May 15th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
This is a really interesting article, nice to here about other traditions, even if some of them have changed a bit.
May 20th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
[...] In this archipelago of more than 7,100 islands, wedding traditions vary from island to island, province to province, north to south. The wedding traditions and rituals of today are a fusion of influences from the Spanish, the Americans and the Japanese, all of whom have occupied the country at different times in its colorful history. Every Filipino wedding starts with a proposal because no Filipina would get married without one, even if it just means a simple “let’s get married” from the groo Source: http://sgweddingfavors.com/blog/171/filipino-pre-wedding-traditions-then-and-now/ [...]
August 13th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Wedding are one of the hottest trends in the wedding industry.it continuously passe out generation to generation to become popular.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
nice insight.
it is true that one of the most major difference between now and then in philippine wedding is the fact that the couple pays for everything from their own savings. this is very different from the old times when parents, especially the groom’s, had to shell out money for the event. relatives of the groom are also expected to share in footing the bill. that’s something that’s almost unheard of these days.